Positive or Negative Self-Image?

Why is self-image important?  It’s important because its how one views oneself.  One of my mantra’s in life is, if you don’t think highly of yourself, no one else will.  I believe that to be very important, especially in a world where everyone is viewed under a microscope and judged harshly.  We see examples of positive and negative self-image every day.

You have a girl or woman who always wears provocative clothing.  Does she think highly of herself?  Positive or negative self-image?  On the surface it appears that she’s confident about her body and doesn’t mind showing it off.  However, if you look deeper, you’ll realize that she believes her self-worth lies solely on her body and the way she looks.  Her self-image is actually negative.  Contrary to popular belief, you are not your clothes, your body, your hair, etc.  As I wrote in a previous post last year, self-worth comes from within.  A woman who has a positive self-image knows who she is and doesn’t have to expose her body to the world to feel good about who she is.  She doesn’t need people to boast about how she looks or what she wears and doesn’t need to draw attention to herself.  One of my favorite quotes comes from Edith Head, an award winning, American costume designer.  Edith said, “Your dresses should be tight enough to show you're a woman and
loose enough to show you're a lady.”  I love that quote!

Another example, you have a person who can find fault in others no matter how positive the situation.  For example, when Gabby Douglas, who worked for years to get to the Olympics as a gymnast, made it and performed nearly perfect.  There were women (yes, grown women) taking to Facebook and Twitter making negative comments about her hair.  I probably don’t have to ask, but I will.  Positive or negative self-image?  Definitely, negative.  These are the same type of women that will see an average woman with her child and instead of seeing how the mother loves that child, works hard to nurture and develop the child; they will find something wrong with what the child is wearing or find something wrong with their hair.  Interestingly, those same people will boast about their own clothes, hair and material things.  Some of these people habitually tries to make others feel or look stupid and small.  Why?  Because they are shallow individuals.  There is nothing of any depth inside of them.  They are empty.  There’s no self-love or peace, so they find fault in others.  

                Finally, you have people that will find the silver lining in most situations.  Even when times are tough, they may get down but they find a way to get themselves up.  This person also sees the positive in other people.  When they see a person that has room for improvement, they find a way to encourage them, and not tear them down.  Positive or negative self-image?  Positive, for sure.  This person is confident in who they are. They find no value or joy in hurting or belittling others.

                Whether you know it or not, your self-image, good or bad, is a reflection on not only how you see yourself but also the way others see you.  The good news is, if you have a negative self-image, it can change.  It’s a process that one should intentionally work on daily to improve.  Children are impressionable and they look to adults for how they should view themselves.  Do you want the reflection young people see when they look at you to be a positive or a negative one?  It’s your choice.

Until next time, I hope you have been encouraged, empowered, enriched, and enlightened.

Cherlisa

Live Life Like an Olympian

     In the past week, people around the world have enjoyed watching the Olympics in London.  The perfection in which the athletes perform has wowed fans everywhere.  Some have asked, how exactly does a person become so amazing at their sport?  Whether you’re Michael Phelps, Cullen Jones or Ryan Lachte of men’s Olympic swimming, or Gabby Douglas or Jordan Weaver of Women’s Olympic gymnastics, or Missy Franklin, women’s Olympic swimmer, they all have some things in common.  They had a dream.  They set a goal.  They made a plan.  They followed the plan.  They are living their dreams. 

     

     If you were given the opportunity to talk to any one of them they’d tell you it wasn’t an easy road.  They would tell you they wake up early, they eat healthy, they exercise at an intense level for hours on end and they make lots of sacrifices that many of their friends don’t have to make. 

     Life is no different for any of us.  Their goal was to make it to the Olympics.  Your goal may be something completely different but in order to obtain it, you have to be willing to work for it.  Your level of commitment and perseverance to meet your goals should be no different than that of an Olympian.  Whatever your desire in life is, go for it with the same intensity and determination they have.  Choose to live your life like an Olympian and go for the gold.

     Until next time, I hope you have been encouraged, empowered, enriched, and enlightened.

Cherlisa

Relationships are fragile; handle with care

Photo by idlehearts.com

One of the most valuable things we are fortunate to have in this life is relationships.  Relationships come in many forms; Parent/child, siblings, significant others, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, friends, co-workers, and the list goes on.  Some of these relationships may be closer than others.  We know how much we love these people and for some of them, we’ll go to the end of the earth for.  Then why is it that we don’t protect these relationships like the fragile gems they are?

We don’t protect them because we take for granted that the person will always be around.  We feel that it’s more important to say what’s on our mind or do what we want to do because “that’s how I am and I’ve always been this way.”  It’s called self-centered, selfish and lacking empathy for others.  I once heard someone say, we treat people we don’t know or care about better than we do the one’s we love most.  Sadly, when I thought about it, it was true.  Not only was the statement an eye opener for me but more importantly, it was life changing.              

One of the greatest realizations we can ever have is that life is short and tomorrow isn’t promised.  Trust me.  That is more than a cliché.  If you really love someone, then that relationship should be worth fighting for and putting petty things behind.  Care enough to watch what you say and do.  Unfortunately, sometimes it’s hard to mend situations once they’ve been broken.  Like I often tell my daughter, sometimes, I’m sorry isn’t enough.  Proverbs 18:21 says, the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Am I saying that relationships won’t struggles, disappointments or disagreements?  Absolutely not!   However, one thing I’ve found that works when nothing else does is the Golden Rule; do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  So many people claim to be a good person some and others claim to be a Christian (meaning like Christ) but don’t know how or care to give another person the same respect they would want to be given. 

Key elements needed to maintain a healthy relationship

1.       Honesty – There’s no better way than honesty to keep a relationship strong.  When there is conflict, nothing can truly be resolved without the truth.

2.       Open communication – If you have a problem with someone, be big enough to talk it out with that person NOT others.  If they can’t give you unbiased (Godly instruction for Christians) advice, then they can cause no good to your relationship and you shouldn’t be talking to them.

3.       Don’t let unresolved issues linger.  You be the bigger person even when the other person may be at fault.

4.       Willingness to talk to your loved ones in “love”.  – Don’t approach a situation in a combative or accusatory manner.  If the other person is not accepting to you trying to make peace, then leave it in God’s hands.  You’ve done your part.  It’s now their burden to bear.

5.       Be willing to listen and accept where you may be at fault.

6.       Don’t let new relationships put a wedge in old ones.  Like I tell my daughter and her middle school friends, it’s okay to have more than one friend at a time.  Also remember, when someone has proven to be there for you through thick and thin, you know where you stand with that person.  Be as good of a friend to them as they have been to you.  You never know how long the new friend might stick around.  Also, you know a tree by fruit it bears.  If a person is always causing havoc and they have no friends or close relationships, ask yourself, why would you let this person come in between a relationship you’ve already built?

7.    Don't be too proud to say I'm sorry. - There may come a time you want to and it'll be too late.

Remember, we don’t always get a second chance.  Relationships are fragile.  Handle them with care.

        Until next time, I hope you have been encouraged, empowered, enriched and enlightened.

Cherlisa

Dare to Dream

I think it’s fair to say that most people have had a dream they were extremely passionate about at least one time in their life.  Many people jump right in and get it done, then move on to the next dream.  What a great feeling it is to accomplish a goal.  Unfortunately, there are a larger number of people who have a dream but never see it come to pass.  Why?  The reasons are endless.

Whatever your reason might be for not accomplishing your goal, forget about it.  If you have ever had a dream and deep in your heart you want to see it come to pass, revive your hope in it today.  It’s never too late.  Don’t let past mistakes or failures become a crutch.  Don’t listen to people who say, you can’t or it’s too hard.  Silence that inner voice that’s placing doubt in your mind.  Find the resources and educate yourself on what it takes to make your dream come true.  Know you deserve it.  Believe you can do it.  YOU CAN DO IT!  Spread your wings and dare to dream!

Until next time, I hope you have been encouraged, empowered, enriched, and enlightened.

Cherlisa

Books, Writing & Life features Cherlisa Richardson

     Daphine Glenn Robinson is the proud author of the newly released book, Too Many Lies.  I am honored that Daphine has featured me on her blog, Books, Writing & Life. please stop by and show some love! http://wp.me/p1vchc-gd .

                        

     Daphine is also the author of three additional books, Brotherly Love & Betrayal, Caring What People Think and Mommy Moments.  If you’re interested in reading a page turner that is inspirational and full of drama at the same time, read Too Many Lies.  You won’t be disappointed.  As a matter of fact, after reading it, you will want to read all of her other books.

Happy reading,

Cherlisa

Communications 101 According to Cherlisa: Back to the Basics

     I’m always amazed when I see people use the ‘strong arm tactic’ when they want to get someone to do something.  It shocks me because in twenty years of doing business, one of the things I’ve always been successful in doing is getting people to do what I want them to do, WITHOUT strong arming them.  Now am I telling you that you will never have to be tough or make tough decisions?  Absolutely not!  However, what I do know for sure is this; you get more bees with honey.  If you treat people kindly, chances are you will gain an ally and be able to get them to do most anything for you.  That’s Communications 101 according to Cherlisa.  It makes sense.  Aren’t we taught growing up that you do unto others as you would have them do unto you?  Well, coming from someone that was taught that way, I’ll tell you, it works in business as well as the real world.

     

     When you look at organizations that are successful with outstanding attendance and have the most loyal and healthy employees, you’ll find that the way they treat their employees have everything to do with it.  You see?  That’s an example of that; you get more bees with honey concept.  On another note, people thought that Tony Dungy, former coach of The Indianapolis Colts, was too soft.  They believed that his failure to scream, holler and use profanity hindered his success as a coach.  To his critic’s surprise, his meek yet powerful demeanor proved to work when he led the Colts to winning a Super Bowl Championship On February 4, 2007.  Now you might be saying, “Some of those coaches that scream, holler and curse have won Super Bowl Championships.”  To that I say, true, but there isn’t a coach past or present in the NFL that gets more respect and praise from players, co-workers and people all over the United States than Tony Dungy does.  He gets respect for the man he was on and off the field.  As a matter of fact, he still manages to make an impact on the world.  He has proven that you really do get more bees with honey.

     Until next time, I hope you have been encouraged, empowered, enriched and enlightened.

Cherlisa

Who’s Your Child’s Role Model?

     The dictionary defines a role model as a person whose behavior, example, or success is or can be emulated by others, especially by younger people. When you ask most people what they believe a role model to be, they would probably come up with a similar version of that definition.  However, they would most likely insert the word ‘positive’.  

     I think we can all agree that the average person has crossed paths with a positive role model at some time in their life. Interestingly, there has been an ongoing debate about who should be considered role models, particularly whether or not celebrities should be or not.  Their personal lives have always been under close scrutiny where this topic is concerned because children look up to them.  The general public has an expectation that celebrities uphold a positive image because there are children that want to emulate them.

      This whole debate about celebrities was refueled in 1993 when Charles Barkley, former NBA basketball player, so boldly stated that he was not your child’s role model.  His comments opened a fire storm in the media, around the water coolers and at dinner tables across the country.  Based on the dictionary’s definition, Barkley can be seen as a role model because his success as a basketball player can be emulated by others.  

     I have no doubt the debate will continue. My perspective is that I choose for God to be my child’s first role model.  He is the only perfect one.  He makes no mistakes.  I believe as our child’s parents that we should be the second role model.  We are not perfect.  However, I am the only person whose behavior I can control.  My husband’s is the only one that can control his behavior.  We teach that we are human and we will make mistakes but we try to be the best example we can be. 

     Parents, whether you believe celebrities should be a role model or not.  I encourage you to be the person your children can count on. I don’t care how many celebrities children may like, your influence is the one that means the most to your children.  Step up to the plate because whether you like it or not, you are their REAL role model.  Good or bad.  Like it or not.

     Until next time, I hope you have been encouraged, empowered, enriched and enlightened.

Cherlisa