Relationships are fragile; handle with care

Photo by idlehearts.com

One of the most valuable things we are fortunate to have in this life is relationships.  Relationships come in many forms; Parent/child, siblings, significant others, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, friends, co-workers, and the list goes on.  Some of these relationships may be closer than others.  We know how much we love these people and for some of them, we’ll go to the end of the earth for.  Then why is it that we don’t protect these relationships like the fragile gems they are?

We don’t protect them because we take for granted that the person will always be around.  We feel that it’s more important to say what’s on our mind or do what we want to do because “that’s how I am and I’ve always been this way.”  It’s called self-centered, selfish and lacking empathy for others.  I once heard someone say, we treat people we don’t know or care about better than we do the one’s we love most.  Sadly, when I thought about it, it was true.  Not only was the statement an eye opener for me but more importantly, it was life changing.              

One of the greatest realizations we can ever have is that life is short and tomorrow isn’t promised.  Trust me.  That is more than a cliché.  If you really love someone, then that relationship should be worth fighting for and putting petty things behind.  Care enough to watch what you say and do.  Unfortunately, sometimes it’s hard to mend situations once they’ve been broken.  Like I often tell my daughter, sometimes, I’m sorry isn’t enough.  Proverbs 18:21 says, the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Am I saying that relationships won’t struggles, disappointments or disagreements?  Absolutely not!   However, one thing I’ve found that works when nothing else does is the Golden Rule; do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  So many people claim to be a good person some and others claim to be a Christian (meaning like Christ) but don’t know how or care to give another person the same respect they would want to be given. 

Key elements needed to maintain a healthy relationship

1.       Honesty – There’s no better way than honesty to keep a relationship strong.  When there is conflict, nothing can truly be resolved without the truth.

2.       Open communication – If you have a problem with someone, be big enough to talk it out with that person NOT others.  If they can’t give you unbiased (Godly instruction for Christians) advice, then they can cause no good to your relationship and you shouldn’t be talking to them.

3.       Don’t let unresolved issues linger.  You be the bigger person even when the other person may be at fault.

4.       Willingness to talk to your loved ones in “love”.  – Don’t approach a situation in a combative or accusatory manner.  If the other person is not accepting to you trying to make peace, then leave it in God’s hands.  You’ve done your part.  It’s now their burden to bear.

5.       Be willing to listen and accept where you may be at fault.

6.       Don’t let new relationships put a wedge in old ones.  Like I tell my daughter and her middle school friends, it’s okay to have more than one friend at a time.  Also remember, when someone has proven to be there for you through thick and thin, you know where you stand with that person.  Be as good of a friend to them as they have been to you.  You never know how long the new friend might stick around.  Also, you know a tree by fruit it bears.  If a person is always causing havoc and they have no friends or close relationships, ask yourself, why would you let this person come in between a relationship you’ve already built?

7.    Don't be too proud to say I'm sorry. - There may come a time you want to and it'll be too late.

Remember, we don’t always get a second chance.  Relationships are fragile.  Handle them with care.

        Until next time, I hope you have been encouraged, empowered, enriched and enlightened.

Cherlisa

Dare to Dream

I think it’s fair to say that most people have had a dream they were extremely passionate about at least one time in their life.  Many people jump right in and get it done, then move on to the next dream.  What a great feeling it is to accomplish a goal.  Unfortunately, there are a larger number of people who have a dream but never see it come to pass.  Why?  The reasons are endless.

Whatever your reason might be for not accomplishing your goal, forget about it.  If you have ever had a dream and deep in your heart you want to see it come to pass, revive your hope in it today.  It’s never too late.  Don’t let past mistakes or failures become a crutch.  Don’t listen to people who say, you can’t or it’s too hard.  Silence that inner voice that’s placing doubt in your mind.  Find the resources and educate yourself on what it takes to make your dream come true.  Know you deserve it.  Believe you can do it.  YOU CAN DO IT!  Spread your wings and dare to dream!

Until next time, I hope you have been encouraged, empowered, enriched, and enlightened.

Cherlisa

Books, Writing & Life features Cherlisa Richardson

     Daphine Glenn Robinson is the proud author of the newly released book, Too Many Lies.  I am honored that Daphine has featured me on her blog, Books, Writing & Life. please stop by and show some love! http://wp.me/p1vchc-gd .

                        

     Daphine is also the author of three additional books, Brotherly Love & Betrayal, Caring What People Think and Mommy Moments.  If you’re interested in reading a page turner that is inspirational and full of drama at the same time, read Too Many Lies.  You won’t be disappointed.  As a matter of fact, after reading it, you will want to read all of her other books.

Happy reading,

Cherlisa

Communications 101 According to Cherlisa: Back to the Basics

     I’m always amazed when I see people use the ‘strong arm tactic’ when they want to get someone to do something.  It shocks me because in twenty years of doing business, one of the things I’ve always been successful in doing is getting people to do what I want them to do, WITHOUT strong arming them.  Now am I telling you that you will never have to be tough or make tough decisions?  Absolutely not!  However, what I do know for sure is this; you get more bees with honey.  If you treat people kindly, chances are you will gain an ally and be able to get them to do most anything for you.  That’s Communications 101 according to Cherlisa.  It makes sense.  Aren’t we taught growing up that you do unto others as you would have them do unto you?  Well, coming from someone that was taught that way, I’ll tell you, it works in business as well as the real world.

     

     When you look at organizations that are successful with outstanding attendance and have the most loyal and healthy employees, you’ll find that the way they treat their employees have everything to do with it.  You see?  That’s an example of that; you get more bees with honey concept.  On another note, people thought that Tony Dungy, former coach of The Indianapolis Colts, was too soft.  They believed that his failure to scream, holler and use profanity hindered his success as a coach.  To his critic’s surprise, his meek yet powerful demeanor proved to work when he led the Colts to winning a Super Bowl Championship On February 4, 2007.  Now you might be saying, “Some of those coaches that scream, holler and curse have won Super Bowl Championships.”  To that I say, true, but there isn’t a coach past or present in the NFL that gets more respect and praise from players, co-workers and people all over the United States than Tony Dungy does.  He gets respect for the man he was on and off the field.  As a matter of fact, he still manages to make an impact on the world.  He has proven that you really do get more bees with honey.

     Until next time, I hope you have been encouraged, empowered, enriched and enlightened.

Cherlisa

Who’s Your Child’s Role Model?

     The dictionary defines a role model as a person whose behavior, example, or success is or can be emulated by others, especially by younger people. When you ask most people what they believe a role model to be, they would probably come up with a similar version of that definition.  However, they would most likely insert the word ‘positive’.  

     I think we can all agree that the average person has crossed paths with a positive role model at some time in their life. Interestingly, there has been an ongoing debate about who should be considered role models, particularly whether or not celebrities should be or not.  Their personal lives have always been under close scrutiny where this topic is concerned because children look up to them.  The general public has an expectation that celebrities uphold a positive image because there are children that want to emulate them.

      This whole debate about celebrities was refueled in 1993 when Charles Barkley, former NBA basketball player, so boldly stated that he was not your child’s role model.  His comments opened a fire storm in the media, around the water coolers and at dinner tables across the country.  Based on the dictionary’s definition, Barkley can be seen as a role model because his success as a basketball player can be emulated by others.  

     I have no doubt the debate will continue. My perspective is that I choose for God to be my child’s first role model.  He is the only perfect one.  He makes no mistakes.  I believe as our child’s parents that we should be the second role model.  We are not perfect.  However, I am the only person whose behavior I can control.  My husband’s is the only one that can control his behavior.  We teach that we are human and we will make mistakes but we try to be the best example we can be. 

     Parents, whether you believe celebrities should be a role model or not.  I encourage you to be the person your children can count on. I don’t care how many celebrities children may like, your influence is the one that means the most to your children.  Step up to the plate because whether you like it or not, you are their REAL role model.  Good or bad.  Like it or not.

     Until next time, I hope you have been encouraged, empowered, enriched and enlightened.

Cherlisa

Celebration of African-American Heroes

     Our country has a rich history of people from all races that have done great things to change the way we live today.  As Black History Month 2012 comes to an end, I wanted to dedicate this blog post to a few of the African-Americans I admire and have paved the way for others.  They all share one thing in common.  Although they are all from poor to middle class families, they dared to dream.  As a result of them having a dream and following it through, they are all successful.  Today I salute the following;

     

     Oprah Winfrey was born in the poor rural town of Kosciusko, Mississippi on January 29, 1954.  As an adolescent she was sexually abused several times.  As a teen Oprah became very promiscuous as a result of her abuse.  In 1971, she won the Miss Black Tennessee Pageant. After this event her life took an upward turn.

      

     Oprah Winfrey is a media giant.  She was the first African-American to host a talk show.  She used her platform to inspire millions to be their very best.  She has many accolades including actress.  Her most popular film was The Color Purple where she rose to popularity playing Sophia.  She also has her own magazine titled, O.  Additionally, she opened The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa in January 2007.  After retiring from her self-titled talk show, The Oprah Winfrey Show, she began her own television network, OWN.  Oprah is a billionaire and has used her riches to become one of the world’s greatest philanthropists. Oprah is no doubt, a great American hero.

       

     Next, Tyler Perry, was born Emmitt Perry, Jr. on September 13, 1969, in New Orleans, Louisiana.  He too had a tough childhood that was plagued with sexual abuse.  He also experienced physical abuse at the hands of his father.  At age sixteen or seventeen he changed his name to Tyler in order to distance himself from his father.  Soon after he left New Orleans and moved to Atlanta in search of his dream of seeing his first play, I Know I’ve Been Changed, acted out onstage.   Success didn’t come easy but he never gave up.  Perry leaned on his faith.  Eventually he ventured out and decided to take his stories to the big screen.  His career took off after his first movie, Diary of a Mad Black Woman, topped the box office chart at #1 its first weekend. 

     

     Perry holds many titles including Film Actor, Director, Producer, Playwright, Screenwriter and Philanthropists.  Most recently he was named the richest man in Hollywood.  That’s not so bad for a man from such humble beginnings.  Hats off to Tyler Perry!

    

     Other heroes include, Tony Dungy, Maya Angelou, President Barack Obama and Michelle Obama, just to name a few.  For the sake of not having an extra long blog post, I won’t detail their life stories and accolades at this time.  However, since I believe African-Americans should be celebrated more than the 28 days of February (29 this year, Leap Year!) during Black History Month, I may feature them along with other heroes in a future post. Before I conclude, I’d be remised if I didn’t add my #1 hero to this list.  She is a caregiver, a counselor, a prayer-warrior, an advocate for people in need and a philanthropist, to name a few.  You probably won’t know her because she’s an unsung hero.  She’s my mother, Elizabeth Douglas-Small. 

     

     Heroes are not just those that are rich and famous.  Many are hard working, ordinary people that are amongst us every day.  They make a difference in the lives of others.  Who are your heroes?  Celebrate them today.

     

     Until next time, I hope you have been encouraged, empowered, enriched, and enlightened.

Cherlisa

Dream BIG in 2012 and Accomplish Your Goals

     I can’t believe how fast another year has come and gone.  What can I say?  Praise God for allowing me to live through another year.  Praise him for my family, friends and for giving me good health and strength.  Praise him for allowing me to see another year. 

    

     What will the New Year bring?  I’m not big on making New Year’s resolutions.  However, I am big on having dreams and setting goals in order to fulfill those dreams.  Many times people give up on their dreams because they feel they have gotten too old or they may believe because of past disappointments their dreams aren’t possible.   Don’t let past disappointments cause your dreams to fade.  No dream is unattainable if you believe you can do it.  God tells us in Psalm 92:12, “The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree because when the storms of life blow, you are going to come right back up stronger than before.”  He also tells us in his word that he will give us the desires of our heart and that if we ask, we shall receive.  However, that doesn’t mean it will come without work on our part.  Here are a few tips to reach your goals in the New Year.

               1.  Look to God for wisdom and strength to fulfill your dreams

               2.  Write your goals down

               3.    Create a step by step action plan

               4.   BELIEVE and put your plan into action

               5.     Decide how you will reward yourself as you meet each goal

               6.     Check off each step as you begin to accomplish your goals

               7.     Reward yourself along the way as you meet each goal 

               8.      Celebrate your successes with family and friends.  However, I caution you to be selective with whom you share them with.  Not everyone will share your same excitement and vision.  Negative people can crush your spirit and cause you to give up on your dreams.  Share with those who have a history of encouraging you and lifting you up.

              9.  Thank God when you have met your goal

             10.  Stay humble and enjoy the blessings of your success

     Wishing you and yours a happy and prosperous New Year.  Until next time, I hope you have been encouraged, empowered, enlightened and enriched.   

Peace and blessings,

Cherlisa